So, What’s The Theme?

Konami’s premier monster masher vs Konami’s monster masher no one remembers. Western vampire slayer vs Eastern demon queller.

Simon Belmont

WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT TO HAVE A CURSE

Though Simon Belmont is the first Belmont in the Castlevania games, he is not the first Belmont in the wider Castlevania story. Castlevania III introduced his ancestor Trevor, and from there Konami set up an entire dynasty that came before Simon. According to the wiki, the family’s vampire hunting business started with Leon Belmont, the I’LL KILL YOU AND THE NIGHT guy, who got the family’s famous anti-evil whip vampire killer (yes, that’s what the whip is called, vampire killer) when his alchemy whip fused with the soul of his vampirized girlfriend. This gave his whip the power needed to defeat not Dracula, but a vampire named Walter Bernhard.

Yeah. Leon never actually fought Dracula. Go figure.

Leon would pass the whip down to his son Trevor, who had the misfortune of getting pozzed by Warren Ellis in the Netflix adaptation, converting from a guy who prays to Christ before setting out to kill Dracula in the video game to le snarky le religion bad man.

Maybe there is a God since Ellis got thoroughly canceled after the Netflix show. He promised to put in a good word at Wildstorm or whatever for the women who slept with him or something, I don’t really know or care, but he made the critical mistake of bending the knee after being pilloried, and I think his career is pretty much over now. Let me go check to see canceled Warren Ellis is…

…Damn, he hasn’t had any work. Dude, Warren, bite at the bullet at this point. Go Comicsgate. Go independent publishing. Kiss EVS’s ring. You got to do something to feed yourself, Netflix residuals can’t last forever.

I guess the moral of the story is don’t mess with God’s holy warriors, not even if they’re fictional.

Anyway, Trevor was the first Belmont to use vampire killer against Dracula, and he was able to kill Dracula, but only with the help of his three amigos Sypha, Grant, and Alucard. Trevor would wed Sypha and add the magic of her bloodline to the Belmont lineage.

Flash forward a century. Dracula has revived. Its’ a rule of Castlevania that even when destroyed, Dracula’s cult revives him after a century. Trevor’s descendent Christopher, hero the Game Boy Castlevanias, fights and defeats Dracula in Castlevania: The Adventure…but he doesn’t destroy Dracula. Dracula flees by using the classic “turn into mist” move, perhaps the cheapest vampire move. Dracula used that a lot in Tomb of Dracula and it was so annoying, it made Quincy Harker’s crew look impossibly outmatched. Why did Rachel Helsing even bother shooting crossbow bolts at Dracula when he would just mist mode through them every time?

15 years later, weakened by his encounter with Christopher but not dead, Dracula mind controls his son Soleil to try and conduct a ritual to bring his powers back, but Christopher saves his son and finishes off Dracula in Castlevania II: Belmont’s Revenge.

Flash forward another century. It’s 1691. Dracula has been revived by his cult in an black mass conducted on Easter morning. And like Christopher and Trevor before him, Simon enters Dracula’s castle to put the Count down for another 100 year count.

Cue the events of Castlevania, the very first Castlevania. Simon kills Dracula, surpassing Leon, kills Dracula without help, surpassing Trevor, and kills Dracula in one fight, surpassing Christopher.

But Simon wasn’t done styling on his ancestors. He was going to give an encore performance and kill Dracula twice.

Knowing he was about to get his big blue cookie ass killed, Dracula placed a death curse on Simon right before Simon finished him off. 7 years after killing Dracula, Simon can feel his old wounds start to ache. He feels sick and knows that he’s going to do die soon. Dracula’s curse has taken hold of him. But there’s a way to undo the curse–if Simon can collect the remains of Dracula, venerated by relics by his cult, he can use them to revive Dracula, which is of course, bad, but if he quickly kills Dracula after the count revives, not only will Dracula be dead again, but his curse on Simon will be lifted.

Thus the goal of Castlevania II–get Dracula’s body parts from his cult, place them on an altar in the ruins of Castlevania, say a prayer to Belial, then quickly murder Dracula once he stands back up.

Simon pulled it off, and what was more, double tapping Dracula earned the Belmont clan the love and respect of Transylvania (I’m assuming Castlevania is in Transylvania, but this is a series where Dracula isn’t actually Vlad the Impaler, so who knows). Before Simon, the Belmonts were viewed with fear and suspicion because they’re supernatural monster killers who marry witch women, but after Simon, the people came to adore the Belmonts.

Simon’s double tap would never be surpassed by his descendants. Fifty years after Castlevania II, wannabe vampire hunter Maxim Kishchine would try and replicate Simon’s revive-then-destroy feat to prove how badass he was only to get possessed by Dracula, necessitating Juste Belmont, Simon’s grandson (presumably, the timeline is a little unclear on this point) to defeat him and Dracula’s shade, but not the true Dracula. Simon probably would have done it himself but he would have been almost 80 at the time.

In 1792, Dracula would be once again revived by humans that wished to pay him tribute. It’s worth noting that ever time Dracula comes back, it’s because of his cult, that’s a point a lot of people gloss over in vs battle spaces.

“Oh Dracula is the Castlevania version of the devil,” pfff, sure, sure. You know who doesn’t need his cult to ritually revive him every century? The devil.

Dracula would be opposed by Richter Belmont, and a lot of people like to say Richter is the strongest Belmont, but no, Richter is a failure. I’m sorry Richter bros, it’s the truth, so I’m just going to come out and say it, he’s a failure.

Oh, he killed Dracula with the help of someone else? Wow, that’s a feat we haven’t seen since Trevor. And then he gets mind controlled into being Dracula’s minion in the next game so that Castlevania’s not-Elric can take over and put Dracula down for him because Richter is just that sad? Nintendo was right in making Richter an echo of Simon, he is an echo–a shallow echo. He joins Soleil in the “sucks so hard as a Belmont he joined Dracula” club.

“Oh, but look, Richter can do cool slides and kicks!” Yeah, you know what he cant’ do? Beat Dracula without a little girl helping him.

Richter was such a failure we wouldn’t see another Belmont until 1999 with Julius, and Julius wasn’t that better than Richter. Julius needed an entire army to help him with Dracula, including Alucard, and at the end got amnesia. Flash forward to 2056 and Julius gets his memory back–only for his role as hero to be cucked by Soma Cruz. That’s right, Julius is such a failure at killing Dracula that he needed Dracula to kill Dracula for him.

Don’t even come at me with “Oh, Julius made the tower shake when he fought Soma, oh it’s worth worth a bazillion tons of tnt because this pixel multiplied by 100 equals–” shut up, your mom made my tower shake, Simon is the greatest Belmont of all time. ALL TIME.

Items

Like in Castlevania, Simon can collect subweapons activated by spending hearts. If it seems weird to you that hearts are ammo and not health, get used to it, because every Castlevania works that way. Unlike Castlevania, Simon keeps subweapons in his inventory and picking up a new subweapon (or rather, buying them from shops in this game) doesn’t replace previous subweapons. That means Simon gets to amass a little vampire hunter kit.

Unfortunately, Simon’s dropped some of his gear from the last game. He no longer has the cool cross boomerang, or his throwing axe, or his time stopper watch, but in return he picks up a couple of neat items.

Offensive Weapons

Flame Whip: The famous vampire killer upgrades throughout Castlevania II, going from the default leather whip to a thorn whip (presumably covered in little barbs that the NES can’t animate) to a chain whip to a morning star (which is inaccurate. It is a flail. Morning stars had “solid” bodies and did not bend) and finally to the flame whip. Each time the vampire killer upgrades, it increases both in reach and in damage. The flame whip deals 15 times the damage of the leather  whip.

Fun fact–there actually is a story explanation for why the vampire killer upgrades. It turns out that it shapeshifts and grows stronger in response to the emotions of its wielders. Let that put to rest all talk over who the superior Belmont is. Did Juste or Richter achieve flame whip mode? Nope!

Interestingly, though its a whip of fire, it doesn’t create the “lock” effect the fires created by the golden knife and sacred flame do.

Pro tip: Whipping in the air extends the time of your jump, helping you cross tricky gaps.

Knives: In the first game, knives were a fairly common but fairly dull (ha ha) subweapon. They were, essentially, whip extensions. The axe and holy water were much better given how often you’d be frustrated by enemies below/beneath you. In Castlevania II, the knife starts out even worse than it was in the first game, because its range is lessened, but you can acquire upgrades. The silver dagger, for just one heart (no hearts are consumed by using the regular dagger), shoots a knife that not only goes further, but passes through enemies so you can damage several at once. And the gold knife, which you get by killing Death (the manual describes it as the knife Death uses to personally kill people, which is cool, but doesn’t make a lick of sense since Death in Castlevania’s main form of attacking is by summoning flying scythes), creates a glut of fire like the sacred fire described below, just for 2 hearts

Holy Water: Holy water got a serious nerf in this game compared to the first. In the first game, holy water was great. You could use it to hit enemies below you, kill durable enemies like the knight armors, and its hitstun made it the ideal weapon to use against Death. But in this game, the holy water is really only useful for destroying breakable blocks, something Dracula’s nail can do. It doesn’t make a fire when it lands and it’s range is really short. It’s almost a utility item, but it can damage enemies. Costs no hearts to use.

Sacred Fire: Sacred fire is basically what holy water was last game. After finding it in Dabi’s path, Simon can use it to throw a spark on the ground which erupts into a pillar of fire. Stunlocks enemies and deals DOT. Blocks projectiles. Costs just 1 heart to use, making it a great weapon.

I wonder what it’s supposed to be, exactly. A magic glyph? A spell that Simon memorizes? The game doesn’t say, and neither does any material about the game. I like to think it’s a living fire, as in Simon carries a semi-sentient little fireball in his pocket. I’ve been a sucker for “living fire” since I read about Firefall in Rom. Oh, maybe it’s the blood of a angel, and it’s constantly burning because of the world is lapsarian, and only saintly holy warriors like Simon can handle it without burning? God I like that concept. I think I might use it for EMG.

Diamond: Though not known for their bouncy properties, Simon can find a diamond that, when fired for 1 heart, not only travels further than the default knife but ricochets. Weird to be sure, but fun.

Herbology

Garlic: Garlic, allium sativum, has long been cultivated around the world since antiquity. It was loved by the ancient Chinese, Greeks, Egyptians, and Mesopotamians. If you had a civilization, you had garlic. I bet you five dollars the Atlanteans loved it too, because everyone loves garlic. Popeye in that one Greek mythology parody cartoon of his sniffed garlic to gain strength before switching over to spinach. Garlic has long been used not just as a culinary staple, but as a folk remedy, and once you’re a folk remedy, it’s not long before you’re a part of folklore. Theophrastus wrote that Greeks would curry the favor of Hecate by leaving cloves of garlic at crossroads. Apparently, she likes gloves for dinner. Even nowadays, garlic is commonly depicted as a supernatural repellent in fiction.

“White people don’t season they food.” yeah right, who has the folklore where you kill supernatural evil by seasoning it? I don’t recall Shango or Anansi killing things with seasoning.

In the game, garlic is perhaps the most cryptic and least understood of all Simon’s weapons. A lot of people think it doesn’t do anything, because when you activate it, Simon just drops a clove on the ground. But it’s actually supposed to be used like a trap. You drop it, enemies walk into it, get hitstunned, and accumulate damage at the rate of the leather whip until they die. Of course, this is a rather weak ability over all, since you can just cleave through minions with your whip. Minions don’t get powerful to the point you ever have to Wile E Coyote them. But Garlic is also an excellent boss killer. It works great against Death. You drop it, Death bumps into it, and he just takes damage until he dies. It even works on Dracula, though unless you’re cheating, the game takes all your laurels and garlic before you fight Dracula, just to be mean.

It’s hilarious to see Dracula start to go into his teleport blitz just to hit a clove of Garlic and die.

God, did this guy really beat Ganon? The final boss Zelda got dumpstered by a dude that freezes and dies on contact with a pizza topping. By that logic, shouldn’t Ganon have beaten him, since Ganon is pork?

Laurel: “Laurel” is kind of a broad term, like “shrub,” so if this is supposed to be a real herb, it’s impossible to tell which herb its supposed to be. All we know about laurels in Castlevania II is that townspeople like to use them in soup and that using one grants you 10 seconds of invincibility. That’s about as long as the star man in Super Mario Bros, though without the death touch, you still have to whip enemies to kill them. Laurels are primarily used to cross cursed swamps, which would otherwise damage you, though they can also help you get through difficult areas. Laurels trivialize fighting Death and Carmela, though they’re already easy to beat.

Silk Bag: Simon is limited in the herbs he can carry, with 4 being the max for garlic and laurels for most of the game. The in-game reason for this is that laurels and garlic are relatively fragile and given all the running and jumping Simon does, he can’t carry many sprigs and cloves without crushing them and ruining their power.

Take note, seasoning police, the power of herbs is broken if you crush them up and dehydrate them. Whole and fresh is best.

The solution to this is a simple silk bag which allows Simon to carry up to 8 garlics and laurels.

Why he has to go through a whole little questline to get a bag, I don’t know. You’d think that’s something he could get by asking for it in town.

Utility

White/Blue/Red Crystals: Progression markers. “Keys,” more or less. You trade the white crystal to a townsperson for the blue crystal and the blue crystal to another townperson to get the red crystal. The crystals do everything lower tier crystals can do, so you never have to worry about soft locking the game. “Crystal magic” allows Simon to reveal hidden passages and, circumstantially , summon a whirlwind to ride like Pecos Bill, but has extremely little use in a fight.

Oak Stake: The oak stake exists to get you to spend hearts, which, props to the game developers, is sorely needed in this game to keep hearts from becoming worthless in this game given how fast you can stock up on them, but I think health items or other one-use items would have been better than putting a mandatory oak stake check at the end of each mansion. You see, when you get to the end of a mansion, you got to collect Dracula’s body part, but it’s in a protective magic bubble. Vampire killer does nothing to the bubble, even though it’s supposed be super strong against evil magic, so what do you do? You pop the bubble with an oak stake, 50 hearts a pop stranger. The annoying part comes from how you can only carry one and only one at a time, So you can’t stock up several and cease worrying about the stakes, you got to seek out a vendor every time you use a stake.

Despite being the dim mak against vampires throughout fiction, the oak stake doesn’t have any use outside popping magical barriers. It doesn’t deal any damage at all, though even if it did, you’d have to be crazy to waste your stake on a minion.

13 Clue Books: Castlevania II’s translation job is infamously awful. For an adventure game, information is critical. If you don’t know where to go and what to do, you’re stuck forever. For the townspeople in the game, the garbled translation isn’t too much of a hindrance, because it’s a mechanic of the game that some of what they say is complete misleading BS, though a conversation can be had on whether or not false information should ever be a mechanic in an adventure game, especially one where your ending is determined by how fast you complete the game, but there are 13 clue books hidden in the mansions. You find these books with Dracula’s eye and release them from the walls with Dracula’s nail or holy water and unlike townspeople, they always tell the truth.

Why did Dracula’s minions leave clue books hidden in their strongholds detailing how to beat them? It’s a video game, roll with it.

It’s a good thing guides and fan translation patches exist online for you to patch into your perfectly legal digitized NES cartridge upload with Shigeru Miyamoto’s signed letter of approval, because otherwise the game is virtually unplayable in the state it was released.

Holy Cross: It’s not a boomerang this time, unfortunately. The cross, which you get by killing Carmela, works with Dracula’s ring to unlock the ruins of Castlevania, so it’s essentially a key.

Dracula’s Corpus

Rib: The first body part Simon collects and by far the most useful. When equipped, it creates a shield in front of Simon that reflects projectiles. The shield works on Protoman logic–it’s only up when Simon stands still. If he attacks or takes a step forward, the shield drops. While on the sprite the shield looks like a generic heater shield, the lore implies that Simon is actually using a section of Dracula’s rig cage as a shield. And I can buy it. The dude was HUGE in the last game, even before he entered his cookie monster form.

Eye: Allows you to see items hidden behind breakable blocks on the paths and in mansions, most notably clue books.

Nail: Your classic “can break special blocks’ power-up, notorious in vs battle circles for giving characters the power to punch like a bazooka round even though damage didn’t change. It’s a pretty bad power-up. Holy water doesn’t cost you a thing to use, has about as much range as your whip, and arcs, meaning it can destroy blocks below you that the whip can’t hit.

Heart: Man, you’d think this one carry some serious magical power…but not really. The blood pumper of the alpha blood sucker…does nothing. Maybe it’s just got too much dark power to mess with? But while it can’t make shoot triple fireballs (though that would have been awesome), it can dispel the curse of the ferryman, freeing him from mind control and getting him to transport you to a place that advances the game.

Ring: How is this one a body part? I don’t’ know, maybe it contains part of Dracula’s spirit, like a phylactery? Maybe anything that can hold a soul counts as a body? It’s Castlevania man, let’s not get philosophical.

You’d think it would let Simon do something cool, especially when there’s precedent for Draculas to use magic mind controlling rings, but it’s just a glorified key. You use it with the holy cross to enter the ruins of Castlevania.

Getsu Fuma

Or, if we’re doing occidental naming conventions where the given name goes first, Fuma Getsu.

It’s 14672 AD. That’s right, Getsu Fuma Den takes place thousands of years into the future, though you’d be forgiven if you played the game and never picked up on this fact. The only hint in-game to the story being a Jack Vance dying Earth affair is that the third boss turns into something robotic looking, but outside that, you could easily say that this game was taking place in ancient Yamato and no one would doubt it.

The world of the future is ruled fairly by the three Getsu brothers (Damn, when they say that Japan takes over in the future, they mean the distant future!), who maintain peace with three spiritually powered swords passed down in their family line for generations (a lot of generations) called the Hadouken.

I know what you’re thinking. “What? Ryu’s fireball?” Let me explain. “Hadou’ roughly means something like “shockwave” and is commonly translated as “wave motion.” For instance, Space Battleship Yamato uses a lot of “wave motion” technology and this is called “hadou” in Japanese. Ryu’s Hadouken is wave motion and “ken” for fist, wave motion fist, because what he’s shooting isn’t actually fire (except for the red version) but ki energy that hits like a fist. But “ken” can also mean “sword.”  “Tekken” can mean either iron fist or iron sword.

So the Hadouken in Getsu Fuma Den are “wave motion swords.” and fan translation patches on totally legal cartridge uploads commonly translate the Hadouken as “wave swords,” but I like Hadouken so that’s what I’m calling them.

The world is at peace, but this peace is shattered by the demon lord Ryukotsuki. The Getsu brothers try and stop Ryukotsuki, but are defeated. Their Hadouken are taken and givne to Ryukotsuki’s three generals for safekeeping and two of the brotbers are slain. Only Fuma survives.

Ryukotsuki builds his fort on Mad Demon Island, and gives the three surrounding islands to his generals. Fuma vows vengeance and travels to Mad Demon Island to recover the Hadouken, defeat Ryukotsuki, and avenge his brothers.

The result is something like Castlevania meets Momotaro. Getsu starts on Mad Demon Island and from there travels to the other three islands, killing Ryukotsuki’s three generals and retrieving the Hadouken, which he gradually absorbs into one sword. The islands crawl with yokai, most evil, but a few willing to give Fuma advice, sell him weapons, or even heal his wounds. The game has three modes. The overworld mode is sort of Zelda II but on rails. You travel across a map avoiding (or exterminating) monster icons to reach little icons that represent dungeons, shops, rest points, or tori paths. Tori gates are used in Shinto to mark off consecrated space. In the case of a demon infested island, these gates mark off profane spaces, or in other words, side-scrolling sections filled with yokai.

Movement in the sidescroller sections feels slicker than Castlevania II. Fuma jumps higher and runs faster than Simon. Early on, Fuma feels very weak. Your sword’s range isn’t good, and if hit an an enemy without killing them, odds are you’re going to take a hit. But the game overall is pretty easy. You have a lot of health, money isn’t hard to farm, and you level up relatively quickly. You’d be hard pressed to beat the game without hitting max level, especially with all the backtracking and “whoops I don’t have the key for this door” you’re going to be doing.

Each boss is in one of the surrounding islands, hidden inside a dungeon. When you enter a dungeon, the game enters a “from the back” mode not dissimilar to something like Dungeons of Daggorath. Enemies either shoot slow moving fireballs that enlarge as they get closer to you or charge at you. It’s all a little janky, to be honest, but it’s a nice chance of pace from the sidescrolling sections, and they don’t happen often enough to become annoying. If the dungeons were longer and if there were more of the, I think I might hate them, just because it’s so hard sometimes to tell when an enemy is close and when an enemy is far away. There’s only so much that can be communicated with forced perspective. I think they should have done something like “when the fireball or enemy flashes red, they’re just about to hit you.”

Pro-tip: use Fuma’s overhead and aim for the enemy head. If you do it right, you’ll see spark indicating you hit. Otherwise, the enemy makes a sound and shake, but I don’t think they actually take damage. I think you have to score “spark hits” to kill them. Also press forward on the d pad when you do it I think it makes spark hits more likely.

At the end of each dungeon is a boss guarding one of the Hadouken and they’re soooooo much better than the bosses in Castlevania II , not just in that they actually provide a challenge and do more than just float and shoot fireballs, but there’s some real presentation to the bosses. You got to cross a bridge over a hellscape filled with masked spearmen just to reach the, which is already so much cooler than just entering a room in a mansion, and after you beat them you reclaim their Hadouken in a cool cutscene where the swords merge into one. And these cutscenes set up the ending where Fuma breaks apart his singular Hadouken into three and gives two to the ghosts of his brothers to wield and together they blow up Ryukotsuki and his skull-shaped fortress with a huge bolt of lightning.

It’s so good!

Ultimately, I think I like Getsu Fuma Den better than Castlevania II. I can see why it has a cult following. There’s a greater variety of enemies, the game doesn’t get as repetitive with the dungeon segments to break up the sidescrolling parts, and the bosses actually have some teeth to them and aren’t the pushovers of Castlevania II. And Fuma’s sword makes the same sound as the TMNT’s weapons in Tecmo’s TMNT, and it’s such a cool sound! Sure, the game has problems. The backtracking can get old, and gold quickly becomes worthless with how plentiful it is, but Castlevania has these problems as well. It’s a case of Getsu having the same problems, but more fun.

Weapons

Offensive

Hadouken: When the three hadouken combine into one, Fuma gets a powerful weapon, easily more powerful than any of this other sub weapons. With each swing of the full-power hadouken, Fuma fires off three waves of energy that cover the entire screen, though terrain does block them. The waves, however, can be reflected, which is exactly what Ryukotsuki does with a shield when Fuma fights him.

Noroi No Koromo: “Cursed Clothing.” When used, grants Fuma about 5 seconds of invincibility. Only one can be carried at a time.

Iwa No Ken: “Rock Sword.” Allows Fuma to break certain rocks and does the melee damage of Fuma’s Hadouken, though without the waves. A good backup weapon if the Hadouken ever slips from Fuma’s grip.

Mashura No Koma: “Devilish Top.” When this weapon is equipped, Fuma’s jump turns into a powerful spin attack which I call the devil spin, very similar to Ryu Hyabusa’s spin attack. This “devil spin” doesn’t do the insane damage of Ryu’s spin, but it does destroy projectiles, something Fuma can’t do with any of his other attacks, which makes it arguably even better to use than the Hadouken. It sure makes running through stages easier.

Mamori Taiko: “Defensive Drum.” Drums are common magical objects in Japanese folklore. Raiden, for instance, uses drums to create thunder. This drum, which is found by breaking through blocks with the Iwa No Ken early on in the game, fires a bolt of force represented by the kanji for force a short distance. The drum is weak, and soon your sword will surpass it in power, but it is a godsend early in the game where you can’t afford to get in melee combat with many enemies.

Noroi No Bakuraku: “Cursed Dynamite.” The second of the “sword replacement” weapons and unfortunately, probably the most useless given when you can acquire it your sword is likely a much better option. When activated, it manifests as a relatively large fireball on the ground that travels until it hits something.

Shuriken: “Handheld Blade,” though no one actually calls it that. Everyone knows what a shuriken is, they’re the most common ninja weapon. Given the shady shit ninjas get up to, are you surprised to find some on an island of demons? It’s the third and best “sword replacement” weapon. Think the drum but it’s three shots and they go all across the screen. It’s rendered outdated by the full-power Hadouken, but it’s excellent up until you get it. Even when you max out your sword strength the shuriken is great for its range. You’re going to need it for the second boss, by the way. Don’t try taking him on without the shuriken, you will get your butt kicked, that’s my tip for you.

Defensive

Omamori: A paper defensive charm, and what you’ll have in your defense slot for most of the game. Slightly decreases the damage you take from attacks. The only “armor” type item in the game.

Reiyaku: “Miracle Medicine.” Heals half your health. Only one can be held at a time.

Momori Tama: “Defensive Orb.” Use to create a rotating shield of three orbs. These orbs block attacks, but fade once they do. Still, a fragile shield is better than no shield at all. Only one can be held at a time.

Blue Gem: Only one can be held at a time. Use to destroy enemies on screen. Against bosses, deals slight damage.

Dungeon Items: The compass shows cardinal directions, the candle makes light, and the red charm works exactly like the blue charm but in dungeons.

So, Who Wins?

Simon Belmont.

Like Batman vs Ryu Hayabusa, this was a close one, and came down to how their items and abilities worked against each other. This was a fun match, actually. I think I want to do more NES fights, not only because they’re fun, but because if I ever make a show of my own, budget concerns means it’s going to have to lead with a lottttt of sprite fights, just like early Death Battle.

The first question to answer here–can Simon actually hurt Fuma? It is a good question to ask. Simon’s garlic hurts his enemies, but that’s because they’re all Dracula minions. The townspeople aren’t hurt by garlic, in fact they eat it. The same thing goes with the laurels. Whatever they are, they work against evil magic, be that magic be in the form of Dracula or a skeleton minion or a cursed swamp. It probably wouldn’t protect Simon from a normal human. So would Simon’s gear hurt Fuma? I’m going to say yes. Fuma carries around a lot of cursed gear he bought from demons on the islands, explicitly evil stuff, though he uses it for good. His invincibility clothes and dynamite are “noroi,” literally cursed, and his top is “mashura,” or devilish. Late in the game, Fuma passes by some deserted, cursed buildings (the islands were apparently inhabited by men before demons took them over) covered in ofuda charms, commonly applied to haunted houses back in ancient Japan to purify them. But when Fuma gets close enough, the ofuda charms attack him. Fuma “pings” as evil, if you can believe it.

I know it may seem strange for a good guy like Fuma to be considered “evil” to the point things have a magical effect on him, but remember he works under a Japanese Shinto system of spirituality and magic. Being “impure” and “unclean” is very close to being “evil” in a Shinto system. It’s why Shinto places such an emphasis on cleanliness rituals and you got to do the wash-clap-bow thing whenever you visit a shrine. It’s such a big deal that the mythological origin of Japan involves purification. Izanagi, after escaping the underworld, had to purify himself, and in doing so created lesser gods and demons from his cast-off impurities.

In a Shinto context, Fuma is VERY unclean after fighting demons in a demonic land and using demonic tools and weapons and probably needs several ritual baths to become spiritually clean again.

And if Fuma is unclean enough for Simon’s gear to hurt him, he’s also unclean enough for Simon’s laurels to protect him from Fuma’s attacks.

While the full-power hadouken is stronger than any of Simon’s weapons, it’s beams can be reflected. Dracula’s rib hard counters the hadouken, and it means Fuma has to try a different tactic if he doesn’t want to get blasted by his own attacks. Fuma is faster and more agile than Simon, but this advantage is mitigated by Simon’s superior range. The only things Fuma has that outrange the fire whip are the shuriken and cursed dynamite balls, both of which can either be reflected by the rib or destroyed by the whip.

Fuma’s best move in this fight is the devil spin, since it destroys projectiles and can hit Simon over his whip. Even if Simon kept his arcing throwing axe from the first game, the devil spin would just go through it and hit Simon. But Simon’s fire attacks, his golden knife and sacred fire, leave behind flames that can damage–and stunlock–Fuma. Simon’s attacks have great stunlock. All he needs to do to win, really, is to hit him once with a fire attack. Then Simon can just drop a garlic next to Fuma and spam fire moves. It’s a garlic seasoned samurai barbecue!

Fuma’s ultimate lightning attack, while certainly powerful enough to fell Simon in one blow, has too much of a charge time to be useful in this fight and even if he did somehow manage to activate it without Simon whipping him in his face, Simon can just pop a laurel. His laurels are by far his biggest advantage in this fight. Fuma’s cursed shirt grants him about five seconds of invincibility. Simon’s laurels, with a silk bag, can protect him for a total of 80 seconds. That’s crazy. They both pop their invincibility, Fuma’s runs out after 5 seconds, and Simon has a full minute and 15 seconds in which he can just kick Fuma’s ass without Fuma being able to do anything but run away, and while Fuma can evade Simon while he’s invincible with his greater agility, Simon isn’t slow enough that he can’t catch up, especially if he’s throwing golden knives at Fuma.

Fuma can hang with Simon. The miracle medicine and defense stone can help him hold on, but they can’t help him win. Ultimately, Simon can burnt through Fuma’s defenses with his fire attacks while protecting himself with longer-lasting invincibility.