Guts Will Probably Die to a Fire Emblem Character
Table of Contents
Ah, god.
Really?
One of the longest, most beloved manga characters has his creator die, the future of his series left in question, the possibility of his decades of struggles never being resolved gets raised, and Death Battle sets him up to die against…some Fire Emblem dude.
He’s Lit. Lord Lit Eraly of Who.
God. The coolest match for Guts has always been Jack, because of the Western samurai vs Eastern swordsman theme, because of the chiaroscuro, because of agility vs strength, because Jack losing his armor halfway through the fight while Guts puts on his own would have been so goddamn cool just picture it happening in your head its so soul.
That was the Guts match. That Jack would stomp Guts was never a problem, because the fight would have been cool, and a respectful death for Guts is easy as pie to write into the fight. Just copy from Jack’s viking fight. He sees Guts go berserk in the armor, pities him, tells him his suffering will end, and kills him. Then he makes a little grave out of the dragonslayer and says a prayer over it. WATCH OUT, cut, print.
Everyone goes home happy.
After Guts vs Jack, you got Kirito vs Guts, which is just to troll, and I respect the troll game, I’m something of a salt farmer myself. Speedy is still crying and I got a claim on several of those tears.
After Guts vs Jack and Guts vs Kirito you get the uninspired matches, the matches without soul. You get Guts vs Ike because they both have big swords. You get Guts vs Marvel’s Black Knight because black swordsmen. These are the low energy matches.
Then you get Guts vs…Dimitri.
Ah, god.
If you had to feed Guts to a Fire Emblem character, couldn’t you have made it one that people care about? Couldn’t you have made it a classic lord and not someone from the post-Smash dating sim era?
Lame fight. Super lame. Even if Guts pulls off the upset and wins, it’s still lame that this is what they gave us.
Who Should Win
Guts should rip off Dimitri’s head. It’s a dude in armor that forces the wearer’s body to go on until all blood is drained from the body against a guy that died to spearmen. It’s a dude who struggles against big demon monsters against a guy that struggles against pikemen and archers. It’s a dude that fights solo with marginal assistance from his tagalongs against a guy that, by the fundamentals of his game, is backed by a sizeable army in all his confrontations.
Guts parries crossbow volleys. You know what happens when a bunch of bowmen shoot at Dimitri? He gets hit.
Who Will Win
You know how in CU vs DB they went on a big spiel about how the gameplay doesn’t matter to DA LORE, which was the CNN way of saying “We know what we’re saying is bullshit, but our brainworms prevent us from being honest, so these characters can move faster than starships.”? They made CU, who gets winded after a sprint and a hop, capable of warp 5 fatty rolls because he can shuffle his bulk out of the way of a “light spell.” There are light spells in Fire Emblem. They can miss. You see where this is going?
What’s the most you can Swank Guts speed to? Lightning, maybe? That means he’s fighting a guy several thousand times faster than himself. Fighting someone that’s just twice as fast as yourself is a death sentence. You might as well not be moving relative to them. Lighting vs light means lightning gets hit a bazillion times before the first neuron in lightning’s head goes off.
Sure, we know after Speedy’s meltdown that consistency isn’t a major priority for Death Battle anymore and that they will reevaluate characters and stats at a whim, or more accurately, whenever one of the characters is their waifu, but I don’t see them not making Dimitri light speed, not after CU. That’s too big an inconsistency, even for them.
And then there are other elements at work. Dimitri can heal, because he’s an rpg character, so he’s going to be given a few vulneraries. Guts can’t heal. The best he can do is a quasi-regeneration where his armor smushes his body back together, but that’s not real healing, that’s more his armor acting like a very insistent body cast. Dimitri also has spells, because all modern JRPG characters are bland ciphers that can learn everything and cast everything and they suck and if you play them instead of the classics you are committing self abuse and I pity you. So he can spam spells while Guts is limited to a crossbow and a one-sh0t cannon. Guts isn’t winning at range.
OPS
Guts
4
Casual Advantage (He’s Guts!)
Archive Advantage
Is the older character
Worst preview
Dimitri
3
Midwit Advantage (He scales to the guy that scales to the guy that scales to the dragon in the crossover!)
Is smarter
Is losing in the sneak-peak
In Summation
I hate this match. Guts should win. He won’t. But maybe he will since Speed0 went mask off in his meltdown and revealed Death Battle runs on Who’s Line logic. Read my ghost stories, the recent one has Bass Reeves shoot a chupacabra.
Terrible prediction. I’d say be better but you keep getting worse so just delete everything you’ve ever done
It doesn’t matter if the logic involved is faulty or not. His fans are annoying, so I wanna see this overhyped edgelord eat shit.
Delete your account faggy
based and enthusiast pilled. don’t let the children get you down OP.
This post is full of fallacies and the OP clearly never played Three houses but to correct some faulty logic to start with Dimitri does not struggle to beat archers and spearmen , both are complete fooder in three houses .
Sure he died that one time in the Golden Deer Route by a bunch of mescenaries but that was when he was weakened and his most consistent feats are far above that , mind you even fooder gremories in fire emblem have feats of scaling to town level due to having meator which is calculated at town level which is way above any of guts feats and they should all be fooder to Dimitri.
Dimitri beats monsters in his verse as well and can fight on par with Edelgard who scales to Rhea who in turn can tank and destroy Javelins of light which are calculated to be Large Mountain Level or higher and that is casually a Large Mountain Level feat due to the javelins creating the valley of tourment which alone is far above Guts being Multi-City Block Level at best not to mention Dimitri should also be comperable to Claude who scales to Nemesis who is stated to have cut mountains in half in the past so Dimitri has multiple calcs and scales to characters which have multiple statements that put him at at least Mountain Level which is far above anything Guts did.
The stat gap is far too large for Guts to overcome its a Multi-City Block buster going up a guy who has multiple consistent Mountain Level and even low balled still scales to spells like Meator which are calculated to be Town Level and Dimitri has far better hax and more diverse attacks to hit Guts with so I would say Dimitri wins based on all of that but to each their own.
Some of Dimitri’s scaling is making my brain shrivel. Apparently because he and an army with s time warper defeated a girl who with an army with a time warper defeated a dragon who was extremely worn down and barely survives the blasts of two missiles that dimitri can hit with the force of a light spear meaning that he should be able to cast aside mountains and fortresses with single hits, but I guess everything is made of adamantium in fire emblem because he doesn’t do anything close to this. Also because abraxas snd thunder spells can miss or he telegraphs the mages hand movements, that makes him fast as lightning or light which means that he could kill everyone in fodlan before you could blink, but I guess every man, woman, child and horse is also light speed because he doesn’t.
Also claude mentioned a myth that the sword of the creator which is made from a divine dragon bones and is much stronger than the other relics and the myths are later revealed propoganda cleaved through mountains, this makes dimitri mountain or island level because idk I guess we should just call squidward omniversal