The Land of Cloud Giants

I’m sure you’re familiar with the story of Jack and the Beanstalk. It’s been retold and adapted countless times. Mickey Mouse had a cartoon based on it. Abbot and Costello did a movie about it (which is public domain by the way, and rather charming), Jim Henson’s sun did a rather moralizing take on it, and in 1902 there was a silent movie version, making Jack and the Beanstalk one of the earliest film adaptations.

The earliest recognizable form of Jack and the Beanstalk is 1734’s Jack Spriggins and the Enchanted Bean, one of several stories in Round About Our Coal Fire; or, Christmas Entertainments. But as you might surmise from the work’s title, the oral version of the story is much older–in fact folklorists suggest that it could be much, much older. The story in a general form of “guy uses magic beans to rob and defeat a giant” may very well be 5,000 years old.

I personally don’t find it that surprising. “Guy goes to the land of powerful people, outsmarts and defeats them to receive a boon” is one that’s universal to humanity. You see it in Japan’s Momotaro, who raided the Island of Oni, and the Mayan Hero Twins, who raided the underworld of Xibalba.

…You know what? The Island of Oni and Xibalba would make pretty fun SOTM deck concepts…

The Capeworld version combines Jack and the Beanstalk with the Jack of Jack the Giant Killer fame, a delightfully violent fairy tale, though I’m far from the first to consider the two Jacks the same person. There was a video game in 1982 that conflated the two but even the original stories both featured giants named Blunderbore. The connection made itself, really.

The Jack and the Beanstalk story is Jack’s origin story. The Seelie Court of Fairy, seeing potential in a young Cornish boy named Jack, decide to recruit him to bump off some of their rivals in the Unseelie Court. The Seelie Court doesn’t like to work directly against their foes as a general rule, they consider it more artful and honorable to defeat a foe through surreptitious means, and what’s more, they like their victories to be completely humiliating. They could think of no finer defeat for Blunderbore (In most versions of the story, the giant is nameless, but when he does get a name, he’s usually named Blunderbore, a name as common to folkloric giants as Jack is to folkloric heroes), a descendent of the great Unseelie general and giant Balor, than for a small human boy to defeat him. Thus one day, a Unseelie courtier disguised as a merchant traded a bag of beans for Jack’s cow. Jack planted the beans, which were actually cuttings from the great world tree that spans the multiverse, and a great beanstalk grew to the clouds.

Jack found himself in the Land of Cloud Castles, a fairy country that hides in the clouds of all worlds, and was directed to Blunderbore’s castle by the Seelie queen Cerridwen and informed of his many thefts and murders (In the earliest versions of the story, the morality of Jack entering Blunderbore’s castle, taking his stuff, and killing him is questionable, though it is probably assumed that giants are innately evil and predatory. Later versions add a fairy or an angel who guides Jack to Blunderbore’s castle and informs Jack of Blunderbore’s misdeeds, which sometimes includes being the one that killed Jack’s father. Remember how Batman (1989) spiced up the Batman vs Joker dynamic by having Joker be the one to kill Batman’s parents? Jack and the Beanstalk adaptations did it first).

Jack lived in the days of Camelot, and in those days, the Unseelie Court were known to conduct raids against Camelot and Arthur’s wider kingdom of Logres. This was because the Seelie Court had chosen the bloodlines of the Arthurian court produce the perfect hybrid of man and fairy. This hybrid would be realized in Galahad, though the Unseelie Court would try with all their might to prevent his coming. Blunderbore and his army of giants would step down from the clouds to smash villages, steal cattle, and kidnap men, women, and children to eat as delicacies. Were they cannibals? Certainly not. They were faeries, and men have more in common with birds and fish than faeries.

Being a brave sort of lad, Jack ventured forth to steal back as much of Blunderbore’s ill-gotten gains as his little arms could carry with naught even a sword by his side. But through cleverness and the help of Blunderbore’s long-suffering wife who took pity on Jack (she has never been given a name. I propose Groa, after a jotnar and goddess from Norse mythology), Jack was able to steal a singing harp, a bag of gold, and a goose that lays golden eggs. Blunderbore chased him down the beanstalk, but Jack cut the beanstalk and sent Blunderbore tumbling down to his defeat–but not his death. Faeries can never truly die.

Then enters the events of Jack the Giant Killer in which Jack becomes a member of the Round Table and, among other things, beheads Lucifer (It really is so much more fun than Jack and the Beanstalk). He gets quite an upgrade as well, gaining a sword that can cut through anything, boots that make him run fast, a cloak of invisibility, and a cap of knowledge. During his giant killing days, Jack meets and befriends Tom Thumb and Tom Hickathrift, two other folk heroes from the British Isles, and they become knights of the Round Table as well.

After Galahad used the power of his bloodline to repair the magic cauldron of Bran the Blessed and the armies of the usurper Mordred were defeated, the Seelie Court rewarded Camelot with immortality and brought the land and its people up into Fairy. Immortality didn’t bother Jack a bit, and he continues questing and fighting as a member of the Round Table to this day. He’s taken down much more than giants since the days of Camelot on Earth. He’s battled nearly every kind of fairy kin and is celebrated by the Seelie Court as a mighty warrior and feared by the Unseelie Court as a deadly thief and assassin.

He will, of course, have a SOTM deck all his own one day.

Sentinels of the Multiverse Deck

Special Rules

Who Wants to Go Up First?: At the beginning of the game, put Beanstalk into play.

Giants (6)

Blunderbore

20 HP

Son of Balor: Reduce damage dealt to Blunderbore by 1.

Grab Everyone With One Hand: Deal the hero with the most HP 5 damage, the hero with the second most HP 4 damage, the hero with the third most HP 3 damage, the hero with the fourth most HP 2 damage, and the hero with the fifth most HP 1 damage.

Fee Fi Fo Fum…

Blunderbore’s Wife

8 HP

Daughter of Balor: Reduce damage dealt to Blunderbore’s Wife by 1.

I’ll do what I can to help you: Reduce damage dealt by giants by 1.

Her conscience led her to help me, but her sense of duty prevented her from escaping with me.

–Jack

Cormoran

20 HP

Son of Balor: Decrease damage dealt to Cormoran by 1.

I’ll Steal More Than Livestock: At the end of the environment turn, Cormoran deals the hero with the highest HP 3 melee damage, then one hero destroys

It’s Mr. “I’ll broil you for my breakfast!” himself! Careful everyone, Cormoran didn’t become Blunderbore’s second-in-command by being weak.

–Jack

Thunderdel

15 HP

Two heads, two fists, two attacks: Deal the hero with the highest HP and the hero with the lowest HP 3 melee damage.

Fee Fau Fum…

Galligantus

10 HP

Son of Balor: Reduce damage dealt to Galligantus by 1.

Up in the Clouds: Prevent all damage dealt to and by Galligantus if Beanstalk is not in play.

Giant Stomp: At the end of the environment turn, deal the hero with the second highest HP 3 melee damage. Deal all other hero targets 1 sonic damage.

Eh, he’s not so tough without his wizard backing him!

–Jack

Gogmagog

10 HP

Son of Balor: Reduce damage dealt to Gogmagog by 1.

Up In The Clouds: Prevent all damage dealt to and by Gogmagog if Beanstalk is not in play.

Ah, another slave!: At the end of the environment turn, deal the hero with the highest HP 3 melee damage. If that hero is dealt damage, they cannot use powers until the start of the environment turn.

He was once Seelie, but he didn’t agree with the ban on changeling abductions that came with the Camelot treaty, and so he switched to the Unseelie.

–Jack

Treasures (5)

A Bag of Gold (2)

Endless Riches: At the end of the environment turn, all heroes draw 2 cards.

I’m still spending what I lifted from Blunderbore when I was but a small lad. Well, smaller.

–Jack

Singing Harp

Orphic Power: At the end of the environment turn, deal all villain targets 2 sonic damage and 1 irreducible psychic damage.

Perform: Deal 2 sonic damage and 1 irreducible psychic damage to all villain targets.

What a find! This is made with some of Orpheus’ heartstrings! It carries a great and terrible power! How neat!

–Jack

Goose That Lays Golden Eggs (2)

Treasure

Golden Eggs: If a beanstalk is in play, all heroes heal 2 at the end of the environment turn.

The Seelie Court prizes these creatures dearly. Their eggs are gilded. Inside is something far more precious–alchemical gold, akele in Angel language

–Jack

Other (4)

Fairy Guidance

Cerridwen, Fairy Queen of Moonlight: All heroes heal 1 and draw a card. Reveal cards from the deck until a treasure card is revealed. Put the card into play, discarding all other revealed cards.

It’s something that most versions leave out, but Cerridwen herself directed me once I found myself in the Land of Cloud Castles.

–Jack

Magic Bean Seller (2)

Fairy

It’s not a cow, but sure, I’ll trade for that: At the end of the environment turn, a player may discard a card. If they do, play a beanstalk from the deck or trash.

The Seelie Court saw potential in me and through their usual roundabout means sent me after their Unseelie rivals.

–Jack

Beanstalk

5 HP

When Beanstalk is destroyed, destroy all giants except for Blunderbore’s Wife.

At the end of the environment turn, all players may discard a card to destroy Beanstalk.

You can plant them anywhere and they’ll grow, and they’ll always lead to the Land of Cloud Castles. They’re seedlings from the invisible tree that holds up all the worlds. Many people have many names for it.

–Jack

Variations

Blunderbore’s Castle: At the beginning of the game, put a Beanstalk, Blunderbore, Blunderbore’s Wife, Bag of Gold, Singing Harp, and Goose That Lays the Golden Eggs in play.

Unlock Condition: Win a match with The Land of the Cloud Castles as the environment and destroy all giants (you may spare Blunderbore’s Wife).